I Don't Need to be Perfect

I take a class called Nourishing Resilience which is a combination of stress management, nutrition and therapy. A sort of…poem? emerged from the work we did last week in class. One individual’s work inspired a bit of a group writing session and this is what I wrote…

I don’t need to be perfect to…

be a loving friend.

be a good daughter.

be a useful employee.

be a compassionate person.

be a good partner.

I don’t need to be perfect to…

be happy.

be fulfilled.

be loved.

be needed.

be wanted.

I don’t need to be perfect to…

have a child.

have fun.

love life.

for others to like me.

I don’t need to be perfect to be me.

I don’t need to be perfect.

Clean Slate

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I like clean slates.

A blank piece of paper. A new notebook. The next project. A fresh D&D campaign. An unwritten story. It’s relaxing to me. Full of possibilities and lacking in mistakes. This might have something to do with an inward desire for perfection, and never being satisfied with my own work.

I’ve been wavering back and forth on how to proceed with this blog. I’ve changed my plans many times. I read a lot of articles about having a niche, and a schedule, and something called SEO. The articles told me if I didn’t follow the formula, I would lose readers and they would never return. I needed to choose my goals and motivations. I needed to participate in Twitter chats and up my Pinterest game. I had to decide exactly what I wanted to write about. I had to choose topics that would be helpful to my readers. I should scan for what’s trending so I can frame my posts to match. All these decisions needed to be made or I was doing it wrong and I would never succeed. It was overwhelming.

Consequently, I was paralyzed with inaction. I was planning out posts…I even wrote one that I never published because halfway through I decided I needed to focus on a different topic. So…nothing was posted for several weeks.

Two things have happened recently that might be turning things around:

1) I started reading the Bullet Journal Method. I was already a Bullet Journaler, but the book has made me not only get back to basics, but really focus on how I spend my time. The last few weeks I’ve been swimming in a sullen sea of introspection and philosophy…asking the “why” for everything I do and honing in on specific goals to focus on now. I’m narrowing down what I’m giving my attention to. Being more intentional with my time.

2) I came across a blog called The Story of John Sennett, and I read this post: https://thestoryofjohnsennett.com/2018/10/26/am-i-a-blogger/. In that post, John addresses these very issues- niche, schedule, doing what you are “supposed” to do as a blogger. Here’s a bit of that post:

I’m a ‘ME’ blogger. I don’t have a niche. I don’t fit into a category. I don’t tick a box. I talk about everything. My focus is me, my story, the things I love, my thoughts and experiences.

The term ‘niche’ is damaging. We don’t need to feel like we don’t fit in because of the term and as a result, feel like we’re not a blogger because we don’t fit a ‘niche’.

John doesn’t follow a posting schedule. According to one of his comments on a different post, he also doesn’t really edit his posts. He talks about whatever he wants to…and his readers are really engaged with lots of comments on every post.

I love blogging. Possibly because I’m an introvert who loves talking and sharing. I’m the opposite of a private person, but I’m too shy to engage in conversations with new people in person, and in real life conversations are exhausting. This isn’t exhausting. In order for this to be a conversation though, I need comments. But that’s all I want to build a community of online friends whom I can share my many passions with.

I want to be like John. I want to do my own thing, my own way and love it. I want to have fun with my blog. I work a full-time job. I’m married with lots of very needy fur-children. I have a fairly long commute. I have lots of hobbies that require my attention. I have a life, and I should stop apologizing for that. If anything, having a life should give me more interesting content, right?

For this reason, I’m giving myself a blank slate. It’s the same website, but it’s a new blog and this is the first post.

On this blog I will talk about Walt Disney World, cats, Bullet Journals, self-improvement, self-care, anxiety & depression, stress management, Disneybounding, books, podcasts, video games, board games, Pathfinder, Virginia, traveling and more. There won’t be a set schedule, a certain number of posts per topic, or anything else that checks off a box. And we’ll just see what happens.

Oh, there will still be polls, though…because I like polls.

If you’ve read this far- thank you.