My Struggles with Time


I have all kinds of issues with time such as how fleeting life is and how songs or movies that deal with that issue make me cry.

The issue that is most in the forefront of my life is time management and prioritization. I do feel like I have made great progress in this arena, but I still have a long way to go. It's so challenging to make my desires, my expectations, my obligations and my time all align properly. We'd like to try to have a human child soon (I've already started a family, tyvm), and I cannot fathom how I would fit a child into my life.  

I've recently come to the realization that I might being doing a poor job of making time for relaxation and downtime. I have unreasonable expectations of what I can and should accomplish, and I need to prioritize fun. Given that I hold fun as one of my top values, and how I'm dealing with anxiety and depression this is both distressing and makes a great deal of sense. 

By not making time for fun, I'm not living within my value system and I'm not being authentic. I've been letting one of my strongest personality traits (and one that gives me great pride), responsibility, rule my entire schedule. 

However, ignoring this important and valuable characteristic would be foolish. Instead, I need to use my inherent responsible nature to help me get more fun and relaxation into my life. Time to decompress from an exhausting week is a critical component of self-care and actually, rather unproductive. If I'm less stressed and well-rested, I'm guaranteed to have a more productive week, right? So, in fact, it is IRRESPONSIBLE for me to ignore relaxation! 

This is why I've started trying to treat time for relaxation as an important to-do task on my list. It is not a bonus task to be done when I have time. It is a highly necessary task.

To that end, today I have some game time scheduled from 9:30am to 10:30am, and I also have a TV show task this evening. Hopefully, this works!